Dr. 2 with patient Abstract Nude by Gwydion Suilebhan

 
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Patient: Abstract Nude

Legal Guardian: Gwydion Suilebhan

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: masculine modesty, artistic ambitiousness, lewd-in-da-nude

Diagnosis: beeeewbies


A dead mouse in a baggie in the fridge wouldn’t be good enough for anybody.
— Tyler

Patient Description:

Good golly, this patient was naughty. I've never met one with onstage masturbation, but perhaps I'm too Christian. The characters are initially interesting, but the story starts to meander with the introduction of the second half. Dialogue prompts become increasingly telling until characters like Lola hold up plot guiding street signs. The chit chat quality climax needs an economical slice with the scalpel. The through line vapidly condemns poor taste, but does not in turn transcend the smut it wiggles its finger at.


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Dr. 2 with patient Undo by Holly Arsenault

 
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Patient: Undo

Legal Guardian: Holly Arsenault

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: pessimistic plot, saccharine symbolism, miserable MC

Diagnosis: pre-crashed wedding


Isn’t it awful how something can make you feel like you’re on fire and then just turn into another old habit?
— Joan

Patient Description:

To the morgue with this one, Nurse. The patient was moribund with a wedding premise that could not be flatter. The dialogues were a string of familial relationship surmising that did not serve to create a plot. The exchange of language between characters was natural and flowing, but every soul on stage held the final wedding in such dreary contempt that it is a wonder why the audience should inversely feel the need to stay in their seats. Characters are explicit when the symbolism isn't. The blue wording was the most creative part of the piece. I can include almost no positive feedback as the patient's illness is terminal. The main character's irreverence occasionally glimmered with enough snark to make a few sentences from each scene memorable. Advice for patient reincarnation would include a defibrillator to the plot premise, comedic relief without naughty swear words, and an MC who wouldn't mind being a part of her own story.


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Dr. 2 with patient Evidence of Things Unseen by Katie Forgette

 
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Patient: Evidence of Things Unseen

Legal Guardian: Katie Forgette

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: delusional optimism, drunken melancholy, Christian sentiment

Diagnosis: woodpecking dissociation 


We’ll feed the missing ducks with our forgotten bread. How does that sound?
— Jack Caldwell

Patient Description:

At first, I thought the patient was in an immediately critical condition! It is not wise to build friction against an antagonist with oopsie daisy upon oopsie daisy. Accidents are accidents. However, the legal guardian's clever writing helped net my doubts and illuminate the sober, tragic purpose, thus inverting my negative perspective. The one liners were fantastic; the characters provided emotional contrast without rigid dichotomy. I would gladly raise this piece's health rating to five stars, but language is still to be mended with the Rx. Stage context is frivolously specific. Would the audience notice if the actor did not speak in a "slight 19th century courtliness"? The major deterrent, however, is the MC's occasional girlishness. For all the professional dialogue and intelligent characters behind her, she drops the ball at crucial moments more than once to be forgivable.


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Dr. 2 with patient Purple Cloud by Jessica Huang

 
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Patient: Purple Cloud

Legal Guardian: Jessica Huang

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: silent seniors, war trauma, Chinese chicken

Diagnosis: assimilation anxiety 


Orville Wilbur, Son of Lee. Always follows the rules. Believes in handshakes, Reganomics and the nightly news.
— Tortoise

Patient Description:

The patient greeted me with a "Once upon a time." They shook my hand and "Once upon a time" was all over my gloves. It was a forgivable cliche, and past that the patient seemed healthy. We talked of Chinese patriarchal legacy which made for a great through line. However, their form puts the content at a direct risk. Transitions were too contrasting. Jumping from living room to game show was too large a sideshow. The symbolism was barking at me. I felt fear, nurse. The late parts of the story left me with an anomaly conclusion that things were boiling along; yet, somehow, I felt like the script could have been 20 pages longer.


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Nurse 911 with patient Less Than Human by Paul Vintner

 
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Patient: Less Than Human

Legal Guardian: Paul Vintner

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: angry animals, Martian melodrama, scalp scars

Diagnosis: eerie ending 


Patient Description:

The patient has fur, lots of fur. The story is sad, lots of sad. Animals were treated... Less Than Human. Their name is a tad cliche, but its purpose is poignant. The plot was all over the room like a rabid squirrel. Significance was scattered until the end, yet I was still unimpressed by then. Dialogue with the patient was... awkward. Characters like Kylie are notably monotone with too many unintended character flaws. There was a dead dog.... he had to be buried... then relief sex. Please check the full report. Suggested Rx for the patient would be to get their hands out of the sock puppets because the characters are too forced when they don't come off as automatons.


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Nurse 911 with patient Good Guy with a Gun by Philip Kaplan

 
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Patient: Good Guy with a Gun

Legal Guardian: Philip Kaplan

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: rifle rumination, host hazing

Diagnosis: righteous revolver rage


Patient Description:

The last case was a dangerous one; quarantine for the patient was arranged immediately. Good Guy with a Gun was blistered with writing illness that could escalate if not treated immediately. It's a story about a game show that lacked logical flow and fell flat with its plot. Wayne's personality may have been designed with humor in mind, but it doesn't survive when he starts to lecture about guns. He orchestrates the play as a bland pro-gun commercial. Nadal also laughs out loud more than I think a normal human being would, making his character unbelievable. Why does Betty Jo say "I'm not qualified to make a decision" when asked who she thinks is the honest contestant? The hiccups in sense continue throughout the piece. To the legal guardian's credit, I personally don't understand the jokes. I don't know much about gun culture and consequently, didn't appreciate the satire that's bustling within. The bottom line is that the technical flaws would deter both people who are and aren't familiar with guns. The emergency room is ready for you, Doctor.


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Dr. 2 with patient Ghost Walks into a Bar by Mora Harris

 
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Patient: Ghost Walks Into a Bar 

Legal Guardian: Mora Harris

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: spookies, shaking, screaming, chilling, drinking

Diagnosis: ectoplasm overdose


People say time heals all wounds. To those people I say... I got shot in the stomach.
— Lorna

Patient Description:

Uh oh. The patient's first words were "Hi, good evening." There were some funny jokes to open up to, but for a comedic play, one couldn't help but notice the stinky ones that piled up. Characters at the mic such as Andre are nothing more than a free association of quotidian existentialism. The characters are self-aware that they are not a riot. Bad move; I kept reading. Even if the play were to utilize the scalpel to rid itself of frivolous chat, a reader would still be lost looking for the main idea. The story's platform is a good start, but the patient is thoroughly infected with an overcompensation of casual spirit that only serves to excuse its own dearth. My Rx will be 1000mg of DeAuthenticity taken daily.


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Nurse 911 with patient Magical Thinking by Joel Adlen

 
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Patient: Magical Thinking

Legal Guardian: Joel Adlen

Insurance: Pagepay Plus

Symptoms: tense tarot tapping, French fussing

Diagnosis: righteous restaurant revelations


Because Life takes Strength! And Love— love is the real magic. Love and Life in this moment is what we really got.
— Vicki

Patient Description:

Although short, sweet, and very straightforward, our recent patient arrived with immediate signs of illness. The reader is dropped suddenly into a restaurant without much introduction. Even though much of what is going on is explained later, it doesn't cure the awkwardness felt initially. Some of the dialogue came upon me as clunky and not very believable. Vicki doesn't really sell herself as a character. Mike switches from stubborn old trucker to open-sesame minded about the "B.S" magic for his wife. It was too quick a change of heart. The Rx for the legal guardian is to focus on improving each character's personality to be more believable while working to include more context in-between major plot points. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Theory of Nothing by Lolly Ward

 
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Patient: Theory of Nothing

Legal Guardian: Lolly Ward

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: unstable relationships, unstable universe, emotional black holes

Diagnosis: false singularity


I ordered Chinese for dinner. I thought that was a fitting way to celebrate the new breakthrough. Noodles for the string theorists and thick soup for everyone else.
— Brit

Patient Description:

Nonfiction science decorated and propelled the plot, but the rocket ship never took off for me. The characters were a tad unbelievable. The umpteenth marriage/divorce plot had me only faintly interested. Yet, the legal guardian is truly giggle worthy. Unique characters, good jokes, and intelligent themes are within, but personally, I wasn’t interested. I think this one's tainted with subjective preference, Nurse 911. That, or I'm just too uninformed on monopoles to immerse myself.


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Dr. 2 with patient Heads by E.M. Lewis

 
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Patient: Heads

Legal Guardian: E.M. Lewis

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: bloody claustrophobia, despair

Diagnosis: hostage


Fast and rough and terribly... methodical about it, they were. I remember thinking, ‘They’ve taken everything.’
— Conway

Patient Description:

Delightfully miserable and intellectually sober, the dialogues of war trapped journalists made a convincing horror story. It's been awhile since I've been so interested in a script's context. The offstage action with the hostage videos heinously charged the scene. I hate and love the cold blooded, sordid, and awkward feelings that modern terrorism brings. The only thing that irked me was the consistent, juvenile blue wording. The drama prevails, however, to surpass these blips. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Alice Out of Wonderland by Jared Strange

 
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Patient: Alice Out of Wonderland

Legal Guardian: Jared Strange

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: tea tantrum, adolescent angst

Diagnosis: mild depression


You may think, if you must. I find it quite a trivial exercise, myself.
— The Mad Hatter

Patient Description:

Poor Alice. She’s all grown up, or at least trying to be. Her nostalgia can no longer negotiate with her sober future. She no longer understands the difference between “drink me” and “eat me.” While the emotions induced were certainly poignant, I couldn't help my hunger for better phrasing and language. Rx will be a diet hunger-buster for moi. The intro could be more concise. I was a bit confused as to how, exactly, did Alice and the Hatter come to meet up in the first place? Is there SMS service in Wonderland?


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Dr. 2 with patient The Bottle Tree by Beth Kander

 
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Patient: The Bottle Tree

Legal Guardian: Beth Kander

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: awkward adolescence, sober psychology

Diagnosis: ghost whispering


This whole thing— everything— it’s not who we are. It’s what happened to us, but it is not who we are.
— Alley

Patient Description:

The patient smelled of evergreen cologne and symbolism. The bottle tree of The Bottle Tree is exploited generously without getting stale. The legal guardian constantly found new ways to perceive the tragedy through the bottle tree's decorated simplicity. The author's note said they want to open the discussion on gun violence from both sides, but there was no dialectical discussion. It was one sided; there was no pro-gun character on stage. It's not guns n' philosophy, but it nobly spoke on behalf of the victims of gun violence through drama, which told the best tale. A notable concern was the client/psychologist relationship that could have moved along faster. Also, the sad reflections within the drama feel spacey and redundant at times, especially with the reoccurring idea of victims dealing with gun violence stigmas, "It's not who we are."


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Dr. 2 with patient Galactic Orphans by Megan Tabaque

 
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Patient: Galactic Orphans

Legal Guardian: Megan Tabaque

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: interplanetary scrubs, annoying sister, quesadillas, weedijuana

Diagnosis: womanhood


Those French dweebs are trash talking us. I can smell their cheese breath.
— RI

Patient Description:

The patient boot up well with its ordinary to extraordinary scene description. “Sometimes the dust turns into stars, the furniture into planets, and the snacks into space trash.” The plot took off but was soon bogged down by inessential dialogue. Many chapters need a 25% slice with the scalpel. The story continued to be thought provoking via the aforementioned ordinary to extraordinary formula, but it was consistently diluted with kiddish vulgarity. Young at heart is its genre, but there were still too many quarters in the swear jar. The catharsis also felt like a work in progress. In order to cure the filler dialogue and weak phrasing within the denouement, the patient must make some repairs on the mothership before dispatching again.


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Dr. 2 with patient Henry Moore is Melting by Jenny Seidelman

 
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Patient: Henry Moore is Melting

Legal Guardian: Jenny Seidelman

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: grand theft pretties, Irish black tea, the fuzz and the boss

Diagnosis: fish sleeper


Patient Description:

Shite. Why do the Irish have the best one liners? The legal guardian kept the patient chipper with only the best in mob dialogue. One cannot do gangsters without good dialogue lest they find themselves eating the butt of their cigarette in boredom. The protagonist is the most romantic thug I've ever artistically met. His soul says “artist,” but his gun says "gypsy.” The patient is four stars healthy but grew up too quickly. I’d like to see more scenes where the brothers and bar fiancée develop further with their character bonds.


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Dr. 2 with patient Big Black Balloon by Eljon Wardally

 
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Patient: Big Black Balloon

Legal Guardian: Eljon Wardally

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: exercise exhaustion, energy drink overdose, speckles of narcissism 

Diagnosis: exploding stomach


Patient Description:

“Henry: My ears are ringing. Gerald: Those are angels cheering for you.” Nurse, I thought we said no more jazzercise in the office. That includes patients. The dialogue between Me vs. Not-Me-Me went well. The legal guardian practiced tact when illuminating the stressful condition of eating disorder. The tone was new for me; it was a blend of bizarre, slightly scary, but often funny. The story frequently broke from reality for artistic effect and dramatic build, yet it didn't feel surreal or stretched.  While the piece was memorable, for me, there was too much confusion in the catharsis. In addition, the patient had an unnecessary potty mouth. It really weighed down any progress made by the story or writing. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Early Sunday Morning by Dara O'Brien

 
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Patient: Early Sunday Morning

Legal Guardian: Dara O'Brien

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: picky palette, depressing dimensions

Diagnosis: easel dropping


Patient Description:

"Flowers, the favorite subjects of lady painters." The patient tells the story of two painters who endearingly poke each other with their dipsticks until they casually decide to paint the portrait of holy matrimony. If the dialogue wasn't on par, I would have donned a mask to deal with this genre. Gushy, love scenes are typically the first things I flick into the bio-hazard bin. I was interested in the burdens of female painters described in the artistic milieu, but the misogyny was too suspicious. The writing itself, not the politics, came out as unbelievable. The ending was signature. It was fitting for a play that blended the colors of theater and pictorial art.


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Dr. 2 with patient How Do You Say, Hola? by Art Por Diaz

 
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Patient: How Do You Say, Hola?

Legal Guardian: Art Por Diaz

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: awkward abuelo, slow internet connection, language apathy

Diagnosis: language ignoramus


Patient Description:

The legal guardian's preferred theme is the cultural divide between Mexico and America. With regard to character flaws, I saw myself in the patient. I was the ignorant youth flicking vocab words through Google translate in language learning apathy. Currently learning Portuguese, I was reminded to always feel dutiful in my daily effort. Not only is the legal guardian specialized in their theme, but succinct in their story telling as well.


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Dr. 2 with patient A La Roro by Art Por Diaz

 
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Patient: A La Roro

Legal Guardian: Art Por Diaz

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: political pus, Mexican-American vertigo

Diagnosis: hypersensitive-closet-creature-phobia


Patient Description:

Political but polite, the patient innocently captured the Mexican-American border divide and debate. The monsters and their funny technicalities made a vivid short story. I don’t see why this can’t turn into a full one act. Why not get more monsters? Why not involve a U.N.I.C.O.R.N. representative over the phone to settle the matter of who’s going to be crawling under the bed tonight? Bright and creative, the patient should have expatiated monster politics to a fuller degree.


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Dr. 2 with patient All Good Children Go To Heaven

 
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Patient: All Good Children Go to Heaven

Legal Guardian: M.E.H. LEWIS & Barbara Lhota

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: holy headaches, back alley blues

Diagnosis: fatherly fervor


Patient Description:

Christians pay taxes, but still their children go to Hell if they aren't baptized promptly and exactly. Well balanced religious plays are my favorite. This one's not too blasphemous while not too teddy bear. At first I noted that the symbolism was robust, but over the different plot lines it was dispersed well. The patient is close to earning five stars, but at times the dialogue was either too telling or too simple. This really bumped down the experience. At least the patient is raw. It was almost too scandalous, but the legal guardians properly utilized their characters and tie up all story lines with tact. Perhaps I will be seeing Stoli in my office soon.


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Dr. 2 with patient Of Serpents & Sea Spray by Rachel Bublitz

 
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Patient: Of Serpents and Sea Spray

Legal Guardian: Rachel Bublitz

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: aching adventurism, imaginative escapism

Diagnosis: reality aversion


Patient Description:

Enter the goddess Athena, stage right. The patient's young hero has a youthful imagination that wasn't cloy or childish. They were so darling I gave them a cute sticker. However, their major dysfunction is language. I understand that the hero is a child, but many parts of the dialogue were either redundant, amateur, or babyish. Athena is a total bloke. The French sailors were rusty with cliched parlance. The patient is not a flop story-wise. Even with the inflammation of the language, the story is healthy. An Rx for language distilling is what this patient needs. 


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