Dr. 2's surgery with patient (Not) Another Day at the Prop Thtr

 
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Patient: (Not) Another Day

Legal Guardians: Playwright Jenny Magnus, Technical Wrangler Stefan Brün.

Surname: Curious Theatre Branch

Address: Prop Thtr [sic] 3502 N. Elston Ave

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: plot hole, not whole, plot hole

 

Diagnosis: He-can’t-be-forced-to-leave


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He’s been on the show so long he’s an institution.
— Vicki

Operation Overview:

Nurse… um… I was… confused. The patient was… experimental. It was fun. It didn't have a plot. That was the plot: to discover the plot. The actors were impressively involved in dancing out the confusion. They lived as the sporadic gears of a nonstop cuckoo clock. The show was poppin’ with eccentric energy that made me laugh out loud. I wasn't pleased, however, with the overall fragmented experience. 

The television interludes of the soap opera that the Writer was editing were hilarious at times, but after the fifth round of intentional deterioration of the same episode, I was wondering if I was still watching a theater show. The wonkiness became hypnotic and served only to give authority to small thoughts in a haywire dialogue. Again, at first the irony was hilarious and curious, but then the giggles started to sag. Behind the wall of semi-musical freestyle, there was almost no content: not even a broad through-line. If there was one, I wasn’t invited to find it. A lack of plot, in a plot, about a lack of plot, is not the justification for its own lack of plot! The speech was pure madness; every paragraph was bloated with evil non sequiturs. Not more than three sentences in a row would make sense. This was my biggest peeve with this show and this genre, but perhaps I’m too Christian.

All actors onstage were darling, despite my distaste for the script. The virtue of the experimental theater is their freedom: the actors and MC brought the audience to ride on their desired wavelength. The rodeo started to die down after the high strung zingers lost their punch. My advice to the legal guardians would be more relevant free association that doesn't meander off the walls. I've prescribed some downers because the irony got scary with the peripheral wild sex in the holy chapel. Counterintuitively, this was when the performance was the most vapid. When the patient is ready to behave, I'll raise them up to three stars while other Freudian wizards may appreciate them at four.


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Dr. 2's surgery with patient ILY at the Greenhouse Theater

 
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Patient: ILY

Legal Guardians: Playwright Jennifer Bradley, Director Kayla Menz

Surname: Unheard Of Theater Company

Address: The Greenhouse Theater, 2257 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL 60614

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

 
 

Symptoms: teenage lurv, bae time, homo love

Diagnosis: awkwaaaaaaaaaaardness.


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I’ve got everything I need right here.
— Brandon

Operation Overview:

The set was a bit bare, but when it comes to economical, nothing beats the quick brick wall. The actors were immediately involved on stage and promised a crisp show. The sex was kinda sexy, but the awkward scenes often felt drawn out. Frequent bedside brooding told the tales of hot monogamy, but repetitive use of the pause button kept putting the audience on hold. This caused a number of stale moments, but the actors always kept it fresh. The Unheard Of Company debut didn’t have much to add to their bare bone playbill. No confetti?

The sincerity and conviction of the actors made the show inviting, but the patient’s script is hungry for a stronger set of stories. They were too basic with too little a tinge to make them notable. Less dialogue and a spoonful of drama would have given these lovebirds more color for their wings. The patient’s health rating is like a high school break-up before heading to college: bittersweet, but not the end.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Man and Moon by Siena Marilyn Ledger

 
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Patient: Man and Moon

Legal Guardian: Playwright Siena Marilyn Ledger

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: cancer, transsexualism, guitars and stars

Diagnosis: lunacy blues


Not all things that exist make sense.
— Aaron

Patient Description:

The patient opened up to me with natural dialogue and good pacing. Afterward, their health steadily declined without much to save it. The two man show is flat: it's missing another subplot or a more dramatic main one. The story is poignant, but never eventful, with the only action scene feeling like a false catharsis because Luna is so cheesy, even for her young age. Luna is actively boring while Aaron is passively boring. Aaron…needs to…stop being…brooding because…the audience…is waiting…no more…triple dots. Luna's scientific chit-chat goes from charming to trite to goading. Not sure why most Pronouns where Capitalized; it was likely subtext For transsexualism, but it Wasn't consistent. Aaron could use more considerable content for their trans monologues, but they did begin to invite my sympathy with their pathos. Revising these with an Rx of Cliché-Away to make Luna less saccharine would help this sincere patient reach a four star rating. For now, it waits in the ward with a two star rating.


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Dr. 2's surgery with patient The Last Five Years at the Jedlicka Performing Arts Center

 
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Patient: The Last Five Years

Legal Guardian: Playwright and Composer Jason Robert Brown, Director Rachel Elise Johnson and Isaac Loomer. Music Director Annabelle Revak

Surname: Jedlicka Performing Arts Center

Address: 3801 South Central Ave., Cicero, 60804

Insurance: Paperkutz

 
 

Symptoms: "nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah"

Diagnosis: It's time to be happy


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He’s insane... but look what he can do.
— Catherine

Operation Overview:

Honestly, a "two-man musical" sounds either like a theatrical get-rich-quick scheme, or an inhumane actor experiment to be conducted in the dungeons of off-off-off-Broadway. Nobody asked me for my social security, and the actors looked like they had enough vitamin D. I'll marginalize my suspicion for now.


Ick, rolling stages. Nothing says "transition time" like a giant, rumbling platform. The giant rumbling scenes, however, where well decorated in the petite space given. The main stage was like a bad marriage: at first some artifices hid its flaws, but the longer one sat with it, the more prominent those flaws became. The outside of the proscenium and the musical's live band were all creatively framed, but the main wall of the stage seemed like a rough draft or an outline. I like minimalist and economical, but it was brutally amateur as the main set piece. It was downright disgusting, vague, artificial, and even distracting. The basic color white was likely chosen to give way to transparency for the lights and to avoid distraction, but this decision completely backfired. I liked the pretty lights; the pretty lights made me feel good. They seemed to prefer Catherine's soliloquys as they helped her negative emotions pop or weep. 

The two actors of the two-man-musical were no ordinary actors: they were... super actors. The aforementioned small spaces and full length tap-dance pressured these actors into hyper hamsters on Mach five wheels. At first I felt fear because they were so damn strong—like ox. Natalie Rae as Catherine Hiatt was emotionally combustive with the most trenchant pantomiming I've ever seen. Curtis Bannister is a wizard of facial expression. My countenance felt sore just from watching him, but he never seemed histrionic. I'll always remember him as the best Jewish clock I've ever seen. Uplifting an entire performance naturally gave these players their exercise.

I wanted to give the patient a robust health rating, but a stinky je ne sais quoi had hovered over me like a meek fart cloud. What was it that disallowed me to make the final leap to fall in love? Because the actors were rockstars, I can make the conclusion that the fault of the show lay with the legal guardian. The story wasn't unique: it was too quotidian, or at least too subtle for my taste. It was certainly drawn out. I did relish the monologues the legal guardian had intended to be considered, but still, the drama felt too soft. At four stars out of five, this patient is doing fi-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne!

 


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient The Brownings by Sam Henderson

 
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Patient: The Brownings

Legal Guardian: Playwright Sam Henderson

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: period blood, scotch, morphine, psychosis

Diagnosis: loco


I’m just gonna drink this ink, insert this pen into my urethra, and swallow my tongue.
— Robert Browning

Patient Description:

Nurse, hand me my anti-bias pills. No, they're for me; histrionics are a theme in this one. I was initiatlly impressed by the considerate poetry in the monologues, but the legal guardian didn't write these: Lizzy did. The patient's plot imported poetic artifacts to conjure up a story about the nonfiction Browning; its purpose was merely to decorate the legal guardian's profane taste. Was Elizabeth Barrett Browning this wild? Her antiquated morphine prescription morphed into a license for dramatic vulgarity. Natural dialogue, exciting build-up, smooth transitions, and insightful subtext show that the legal guardian was raised better: just like Browning's rep. Schumann's late meandering is unfun and can be generously sliced. I'd mention the utter futility of the fourth-wall-breaking cliché, but the patient is already dead. Let the defibrillator get to it in the morning.


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Dr. 2's surgery with patient Crowns at the Fleetwood-Jourdain Theatre

 
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Patient: Crowns

Legal Guardian: Playwright Regina Taylor, Director Tim Rhoze and Co-Director Bria Walker

Surname: Fleetwood-Jourdain Theatre

Address: The Fleetwood Jourdain-Theatre 927 Noyes St, Evanston, IL 60201

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

 
 

Symptoms: feathers, sparkles, ribbons

Diagnosis: good hair day


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Put a hat on your head.
— Velma

Operation Overview:

WAM, BAM—what an intro. The patient hit a home run on the first pitch. These women were on fire, and the only thing keeping them cool were those thousand dollar hats. I felt like I lost my hat virginity in this intimate shotgun of a show. My crown, she is deflowered. 

The legal guardian's main plot was just a tad basic, but it gave way to a string of short stories that went with every hat on stage. At first I wondered why Fredrick Harris as "Man" was the only man on stage. Man, he was The Man. This was a woman's show; there's no doubt. Man, however, was not marginalized. He was such a powerful shaman that I felt washed in the river sitting in the second row. The sermon turned African…the lights shifted orange… things got primal. We were on that base level. It was fun and it was spiritual.

Everyone in the patient's cast was a superstar. The ladies were a sassilicious joy from the start. Asia Jackson as Yolanda was an explosion of energy—every show needs something like her as an opener. Qiana McNary as Mable and Robin Beaman as Wanda were the black-lady-humor wizards of the show. Tuesdai Perry faithfully delivered darling zinger after darling zinger. If Harris was "The Man," then Mardra Thomas as Mother Shaw and Renee Lockette as Velma where "The Women." They responsibly carried the profound through line of what it means to be a black queen. The photos on the wall smiled for all the actors.

I was confused that we went to surgery with such a healthy patient. The master of ceremonies was the only prick in the performance. While he was exciting, I was turned off by the trumpeting of the actors' and playwright's resume. The playbill itself is a festoon of virtue vocab: no artistic statements? Not in my Indie Office. 300mg of Humilitin will be prescribed for this blip. With faithfulness to the Rx, the patient will recover with a five star health rating.


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Dr. 2's surgery with patient Scenes for a Green World at the Greenhouse Theater Center

 
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Patient: Scenes for a Green World

Legal Guardian: Playwright Michael Brayndick

Surname: On the Spot Theatre Company

Address: 2257 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago IL 60614

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: shroomy, bloomy, gloomy

 

Diagnosis: Alzheimers


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I meant to bring [my umbrella]. I guess I forgot that, too.
— Dina

Operation Overview:

When I had arrived at the surgery room, I was immediately impressed by the warm, metro stage. I love economical sets. The welcome was classy with the internment camp exhibit that exposed the play's tragedy. Well received, I sat pretty with my 10 dollar Malbec. It was actually nine dollars, but I tipped the bartender for opening the bottle: bravo.

  The patient's script was professionally refreshing. Consistently easy transitions and tasteful dialogue put most of my pet peeves on vacation. The writing for the extended sittings do not rot the characters into couch potatoes. I'm surprised the legal guardian could crank out a stationary but engaging piece of two acts. I began to grow upset, however, when the third hour came around; I was wondering if I should exeunt to put more money in the parking meter. The meandering needed a generous slice with the scalpel.

  The actors are the main source of disconcertment. Ginger Leopoldo as Hiroko was animated, clear, but disconnected from her lines. She was so unattuned that she stilted the performance with a nonstop cheerful and conventional tone that derailed from the sobriety. She was darling, picturesque, and well picked for the optimistic Hiroko, but an inability to steer these virtues led to an overcompensation that eviscerated the script's poignant points. With half of Hiroko missing, the whole play's live depth sank.

  The patient's writing shone through the soliloquys. Hiroko's first love and Dina's savior mushrooms were succinct stories in themselves. Liliana Mitchell was more faithful in bringing trauma to life authentically, but even she shared the occasional flaw of being unable to frown at critical times while discussing Dina's sad past. While one could say this was the disposition of their characters as battered women projecting defense mechanisms through smiles, I focused on the actors' delivery and remain unimpressed.

  Even with these mortal wounds, the ladies were identical with their characters. Ms. Leopoldo always succeeded as the supportive sweetheart and Ms. Mitchell always hit the high note as a crisp Jewish woman. The both of them are sincerely strong women; this was my initial vibe of the play. I couldn't think of more exact models for Brayndick's dyad.

  The kiddies were cute. Osamu was a stud via James Macapagal; he was always a smooth operator. Emma Brayndick was an inverted edition of Leopoldo and Mitchell: her tragedy was touching but her comedy didn't reach the roof. While she containted 90% good energy, she lacked the 10% zinger that Sadie's lines demanded. Her brief moment of stage fighting was so flat that it dried out the rest of my Malbec.

  The story was a success; I understood the tone, but it felt like it was lacking more drama or one more subplot, especially for the brute length. The children got along almost too easily and the mommies hardly put up a fight. The side story, thus, contained little resistance. A heavier background plot and sharper actors would bring this garden to life with a four star health rating, but for now, remains at a three star health rating. 


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Dr. 2's surgery with patient The Lady Demands Satisfaction at the City Lit Theater

 
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Patient: The Lady Demands Satisfaction

Legal Guardian: Playwright Arthur M. Jolly, Director Morgan Manasa

Surname: Babes with Blades Theatre Company

Address: City Lit Theater 1020 W Bryn Mawr Ave., Chicago, IL, 60660

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

 
 

Symptoms: Wigs, swords, the English, broken furniture

Diagnosis: Backstabbed


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Holländer!
— Luitger

Operation Overview:

There was too much untranslated German. There, I said it. Next time I think a patient is going to be dripping with untranslated German, I'll bring someone who speaks German to translate all the German. Moving on, the troupe delivered an exciting performance that left me wanting more from Edgewater's circuit. My hiatus from surgery has left me so rusty that I wonder why I still call myself a doctor. The patient's story plays at intentional grandiloquence; the subtitle, "A Jolly Farce" succinctly warns you of the theme. The plot, overall, was questionable, but I enjoyed the screaming and the German.

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  This troupe is high strung for the better. I could not believe their consistent energy: bravo. The show demanded it, The Lady Demanded it. The players en masse ally-yooped each other precisely in comedy and stage fights. Again, bravo. Megan Schemmel as Aunt Theodosia inspired me with her ebullience. The way she poked her fellow actor in the butt by the sword brought tears to my eyes. I'm kidding, nurse, I don't cry. Schemmel was acrobatic as she was energetic. This benevolence poisoned the other actors with mad jubilance that translated into wired stage action. The sword fights where not realistic as the playbill claimed, but they were still impressive scenes.

Alongside the comedic successes came the inevitable farts. Many of the sins are written in the script. Some monologues such as Lord Abernathy's exposition came off as explicit. Looking back, Trothe was supposed to be not-the-brightest, but still I sensed that her lines became excessively flat towards the end. It wasn't the actor's fault. The worst thing I can say about the troupe was their choice in accents. The British schwa was battered, prominent, and the only note considered for some reason. The jolly farce could not sweep the honkiness under the rug; it was asinine after the first half hour. Thankfully, the German arrived and took the baton of gibberish. Amanda Forman has an inner gift for screaming German roles. She will go far. The troupe will go far. One could tell they were close when Osric... stuffed Trothe's handkerchief in his mouth. Her reciprocation of love was to... proceed to instantaneously do the same. I wasn't sure if this was a con, or an impressive pro. The camaraderie of actors is an asset at the City Lit Theater.

Babes with Blades chose a wonderful show to encourage the stories of women in the spotlight. Jolly's Aunt Theodosia is quirky without being recherché or alien. I couldn't see anyone but Ms. Schemmel playing her. The troupe gets props for top tier coordination and with that, the patient stands at a four star health rating.

Honestly, why did this story have so much untranslated German?

 Felipe Carrasco as Osric, Ari Kraiman as Tilly, Daenalís Resto as Trotte, Megan Schemmel as Aunt Theodosia, Kate Booth as Penelope, Amanda Forman as Luitger, and Linsey Falls as Lord Abernathy

Felipe Carrasco as Osric, Ari Kraiman as Tilly, Daenalís Resto as Trotte, Megan Schemmel as Aunt Theodosia, Kate Booth as Penelope, Amanda Forman as Luitger, and Linsey Falls as Lord Abernathy


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Adoration of Dora by Lojo Simon

 
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Patient: Adoration of Dora

Legal Guardian: Playwright Lojo Simon

Insurance: Page Page Plus

Symptoms: WW2 blues, self-esteem issues, the French

Diagnosis: cracked lens


If you amuse him, you will be immortalized.
— Valentine

Patient Description:

The patient and I went to Paris, hopped the cafes, played phrase games and talked the snippy talk of our petite milieu. Then, Picasso was there, and paint happened. At first the patient was bold and welcoming, but the dialogue soon turned sour with explicitness. There was one gentleman who's purpose was to literally hold up a sign. Non. I was touched by the burgeoning artistic career of Picasso's famous muse, but the patient's language devolved into such intense profanity that the delicate story was not worth picking through the naughty words. An Rx will be prescribed for daily tongue washing.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient The Talented Ones by Yussef El Guindi

 
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Patient: The Talented Ones

Legal Guardian: Playwright Yussef El Guindi

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: immigration assimilation, lying, cheating, bewbies, dancing bewbies

Diagnosis: drug overdose


That be-all-you-can-be lingo? That’s our bible now. None of that third world modesty.
— Omar

Patient Description:

“You[‘re] two ships that [have] passed in the night [and] have sunk. The flame of love has been effectively pissed on and is out.” Wow, guy. Nurse, it’s a case of the bad-one-liners. We'll need to go to surgery. Prepare the scalpel so I can remove the fat from the monologues; it's all lecture. There's some original advice through the characters, but for the most part, it's unnecessary. There was: strange; punctuation, that needs a round—two with the (grammar guide). The tone and style of the characters were too explicit…too explicit. We'll need a denouement suppository because the ending was false: the characters' behaviors were conventionally unbelievable.  Before you bring your cart, grab a lollipop. They've got a few nip tucks and poop plugs, but the immigration subplot was interesting and authentic. The patient is healthy despite today's need for operation. Give 'em a sticker, too. Please grab me a warm, wet towel; I can't handle another semicolon without two independent clauses.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Abstract Nude by Gwydion Suilebhan

 
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Patient: Abstract Nude

Legal Guardian: Playwright Gwydion Suilebhan

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: masculine modesty, artistic ambitiousness, lewd-in-da-nude

Diagnosis: beeeewbies


A dead mouse in a baggie in the fridge wouldn’t be good enough for anybody.
— Tyler

Patient Description:

Good golly, this patient was naughty. I've never met one with onstage masturbation, but perhaps I'm too Christian. The characters are initially interesting, but the story starts to meander with the introduction of the second half. Dialogue prompts become increasingly telling until characters like Lola hold up plot guiding street signs. The chit chat quality climax needs an economical slice with the scalpel. The through line vapidly condemns poor taste, but does not in turn transcend the smut it wiggles its finger at.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Undo by Holly Arsenault

 
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Patient: Undo

Legal Guardian: Playwright Holly Arsenault

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: pessimistic plot, saccharine symbolism, miserable MC

Diagnosis: pre-crashed wedding


Isn’t it awful how something can make you feel like you’re on fire and then just turn into another old habit?
— Joan

Patient Description:

To the morgue with this one, Nurse. The patient was moribund with a wedding premise that could not be flatter. The dialogues were a string of familial relationship surmising that did not serve to create a plot. The exchange of language between characters was natural and flowing, but every soul on stage held the final wedding in such dreary contempt that it is a wonder why the audience should inversely feel the need to stay in their seats. Characters are explicit when the symbolism isn't. The blue wording was the most creative part of the piece. I can include almost no positive feedback as the patient's illness is terminal. The main character's irreverence occasionally glimmered with enough snark to make a few sentences from each scene memorable. Advice for patient reincarnation would include a defibrillator to the plot premise, comedic relief without naughty swear words, and an MC who wouldn't mind being a part of her own story.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Evidence of Things Unseen by Katie Forgette

 
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Patient: Evidence of Things Unseen

Legal Guardian: Playwright Katie Forgette

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: delusional optimism, drunken melancholy, Christian sentiment

Diagnosis: woodpecking dissociation 


We’ll feed the missing ducks with our forgotten bread. How does that sound?
— Jack Caldwell

Patient Description:

At first, I thought the patient was in an immediately critical condition! It is not wise to build friction against an antagonist with oopsie daisy upon oopsie daisy. Accidents are accidents. However, the legal guardian's clever writing helped net my doubts and illuminate the sober, tragic purpose, thus inverting my negative perspective. The one liners were fantastic; the characters provided emotional contrast without rigid dichotomy. I would gladly raise this piece's health rating to five stars, but language is still to be mended with the Rx. Stage context is frivolously specific. Would the audience notice if the actor did not speak in a "slight 19th century courtliness"? The major deterrent, however, is the MC's occasional girlishness. For all the professional dialogue and intelligent characters behind her, she drops the ball at crucial moments more than once to be forgivable.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Purple Cloud by Jessica Huang

 
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Patient: Purple Cloud

Legal Guardian: Playwright Jessica Huang

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: silent seniors, war trauma, Chinese chicken

Diagnosis: assimilation anxiety 


Orville Wilbur, Son of Lee. Always follows the rules. Believes in handshakes, Reganomics and the nightly news.
— Tortoise

Patient Description:

The patient greeted me with a "Once upon a time." They shook my hand and "Once upon a time" was all over my gloves. It was a forgivable cliche, and past that the patient seemed healthy. We talked of Chinese patriarchal legacy which made for a great through line. However, their form puts the content at a direct risk. Transitions were too contrasting. Jumping from living room to game show was too large a sideshow. The symbolism was barking at me. I felt fear, nurse. The late parts of the story left me with an anomaly conclusion that things were boiling along; yet, somehow, I felt like the script could have been 20 pages longer.


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Nurse 911's diagnosis of patient Less Than Human by Paul Vintner

 
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Patient: Less Than Human

Legal Guardian: Playwright Paul Vintner

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: angry animals, Martian melodrama, scalp scars

Diagnosis: eerie ending 


Patient Description:

The patient has fur, lots of fur. The story is sad, lots of sad. Animals were treated... Less Than Human. Their name is a tad cliche, but its purpose is poignant. The plot was all over the room like a rabid squirrel. Significance was scattered until the end, yet I was still unimpressed by then. Dialogue with the patient was... awkward. Characters like Kylie are notably monotone with too many unintended character flaws. There was a dead dog.... he had to be buried... then relief sex. Please check the full report. Suggested Rx for the patient would be to get their hands out of the sock puppets because the characters are too forced when they don't come off as automatons.


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Nurse 911's diagnosis of patient Good Guy with a Gun by Philip Kaplan

 
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Patient: Good Guy with a Gun

Legal Guardian: Playwright Philip Kaplan

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: rifle rumination, host hazing

Diagnosis: righteous revolver rage


Patient Description:

The last case was a dangerous one; quarantine for the patient was arranged immediately. Good Guy with a Gun was blistered with writing illness that could escalate if not treated immediately. It's a story about a game show that lacked logical flow and fell flat with its plot. Wayne's personality may have been designed with humor in mind, but it doesn't survive when he starts to lecture about guns. He orchestrates the play as a bland pro-gun commercial. Nadal also laughs out loud more than I think a normal human being would, making his character unbelievable. Why does Betty Jo say "I'm not qualified to make a decision" when asked who she thinks is the honest contestant? The hiccups in sense continue throughout the piece. To the legal guardian's credit, I personally don't understand the jokes. I don't know much about gun culture and consequently, didn't appreciate the satire that's bustling within. The bottom line is that the technical flaws would deter both people who are and aren't familiar with guns. The emergency room is ready for you, Doctor.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Ghost Walks into a Bar by Mora Harris

 
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Patient: Ghost Walks Into a Bar 

Legal Guardian: Playwright Mora Harris

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: spookies, shaking, screaming, chilling, drinking

Diagnosis: ectoplasm overdose


People say time heals all wounds. To those people I say... I got shot in the stomach.
— Lorna

Patient Description:

Uh oh. The patient's first words were "Hi, good evening." There were some funny jokes to open up to, but for a comedic play, one couldn't help but notice the stinky ones that piled up. Characters at the mic such as Andre are nothing more than a free association of quotidian existentialism. The characters are self-aware that they are not a riot. Bad move; I kept reading. Even if the play were to utilize the scalpel to rid itself of frivolous chat, a reader would still be lost looking for the main idea. The story's platform is a good start, but the patient is thoroughly infected with an overcompensation of casual spirit that only serves to excuse its own dearth. My Rx will be 1000mg of DeAuthenticity taken daily.


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Nurse 911's diagnosis of patient Magical Thinking by Joel Adlen

 
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Patient: Magical Thinking

Legal Guardian: Playwright Joel Adlen

Insurance: Pagepay Plus

Symptoms: tense tarot tapping, French fussing

Diagnosis: righteous restaurant revelations


Because Life takes Strength! And Love— love is the real magic. Love and Life in this moment is what we really got.
— Vicki

Patient Description:

Although short, sweet, and very straightforward, our recent patient arrived with immediate signs of illness. The reader is dropped suddenly into a restaurant without much introduction. Even though much of what is going on is explained later, it doesn't cure the awkwardness felt initially. Some of the dialogue came upon me as clunky and not very believable. Vicki doesn't really sell herself as a character. Mike switches from stubborn old trucker to open-sesame minded about the "B.S" magic for his wife. It was too quick a change of heart. The Rx for the legal guardian is to focus on improving each character's personality to be more believable while working to include more context in-between major plot points. 


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Theory of Nothing by Lolly Ward

 
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Patient: Theory of Nothing

Legal Guardian: Playwright Lolly Ward

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: unstable relationships, unstable universe, emotional black holes

Diagnosis: false singularity


I ordered Chinese for dinner. I thought that was a fitting way to celebrate the new breakthrough. Noodles for the string theorists and thick soup for everyone else.
— Brit

Patient Description:

Nonfiction science decorated and propelled the plot, but the rocket ship never took off for me. The characters were a tad unbelievable. The umpteenth marriage/divorce plot had me only faintly interested. Yet, the legal guardian is truly giggle worthy. Unique characters, good jokes, and intelligent themes are within, but personally, I wasn’t interested. I think this one's tainted with subjective preference, Nurse 911. That, or I'm just too uninformed on monopoles to immerse myself.


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Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient Heads by E.M. Lewis

 
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Patient: Heads

Legal Guardian: Playwright E.M. Lewis

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: bloody claustrophobia, despair

Diagnosis: hostage


Fast and rough and terribly... methodical about it, they were. I remember thinking, ‘They’ve taken everything.’
— Conway

Patient Description:

Delightfully miserable and intellectually sober, the dialogues of war trapped journalists made a convincing horror story. It's been awhile since I've been so interested in a script's context. The offstage action with the hostage videos heinously charged the scene. I hate and love the cold blooded, sordid, and awkward feelings that modern terrorism brings. The only thing that irked me was the consistent, juvenile blue wording. The drama prevails, however, to surpass these blips. 


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