Nurse 911 with patient Magical Thinking by Joel Adlen

 
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Patient: Magical Thinking

Legal Guardian: Joel Adlen

Insurance: Pagepay Plus

Symptoms: Tense tarot tapping, French fussing

Diagnosis: Righteous Restaurant Revelations


Patient Description:

Because Life takes Strength! And Love— love is the real magic. Love and Life in this moment is what we really got.
— Vicki

Although short, sweet, and very straightforward, our most recent patient has shown signs of malnourishment. The intro was where I first detected trouble. The reader is dropped suddenly into this restaurant without much contextual buildup. Even though much of what is going on is explained later, it doesn't cure the awkwardness felt initially. Some of the dialogue came upon me as clunky and not very believable. Vicki doesn't really sell herself as a character. Mike switches from stubborn old trucker to being open-sesame minded about this "B.S" magic for his wife. It felt like too quick a change of heart. To the legal guardian I'd suggest they focus on improving each character's personality to be more believable while working to include more context in-between major plot points. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Theory of Nothing by Lolly Ward

 
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Patient: Theory of Nothing

Legal Guardian: Lolly Ward

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: Unstable relationships, unstable universe, black holes

Diagnosis: False Singularity


Patient Description:

I ordered Chinese for dinner. I thought that was a fitting way to celebrate the new breakthrough. Noodles for the string theorists and thick soup for everyone else.
— Brit

A spacey patient, nonfiction science decorated the plot, but the rocket ship never took off. The characters were a tad unbelievable and the marriage/divorce plot wasn’t very strong. Unique characters, good jokes, and intelligent themes are within, but personally, I wasn’t interested.


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Dr. 2 with patient Heads by E.M. Lewis

 
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Patient: Heads

Legal Guardian: E.M. Lewis

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: bloody claustrophobia, terrorism

Diagnosis: Hostage


Patient Description:

Fast and rough and terribly... methodical about it, they were. I remember thinking, ‘They’ve taken everything.’
— Conway

Delightfully miserable and intellectually sober, the dialogues of war trapped journalists made a convincing horror story. It's been awhile since I've been so interested in a script's context as I have with this patient. The offstage action with the hostage videos heinously charged the scene. The only thing that irked me was the consistent, juvenile blue wording. The drama prevails, however, to surpass these blips. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Alice Out of Wonderland by Jared Strange

 
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Patient: Alice Out of Wonderland

Legal Guardian: Jared Strange

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: Tea tantrum, adolescent angst

Diagnosis: Mild Depression


Patient Description:

You may think, if you must. I find it quite a trivial exercise, myself.
— The Mad Hatter

Poor Alice. She’s all grown up, or at least trying to be. Her nostalgia can no longer negotiate with her sober future. She no longer understands the difference between “drink me” and “eat me.” The intro could be more concise. I was a bit confused as to how Alice and the Hatter came to meet up in the first place. 


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Dr. 2 with patient The Bottle Tree by Beth Kander

 
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Patient: The Bottle Tree

Legal Guardian: Beth Kander

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: Awkward adolescence, sober psychology

Diagnosis: Ghost Whispering


Patient Description:

This whole thing— everything— it’s not who we are. It’s what happened to us, but it is not who we are.
— Alley

This story had the strongest symbolism I've encountered all year. The Bottle Tree itself is exploited generously without redundancy in this polemical piece. The legal guardian constantly found new ways to perceive the tragedy through the Bottle Tree's decorated simplicity. The author's note said it opened the discussion on gun violence from both sides, but there was no dialectical discussion. It's not guns n' philosophy, but it nobly spoke on behalf of the victims of gun violence through drama, which told the best tale. 


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Dr. 2 with patient Galactic Orphans by Megan Tabaque

 
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Patient: Galactic Orphans

Legal Guardian: Megan Tabaque

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: Interplanetary scrubs, annoying sister, quesadillas, weedijuana

Diagnosis: Womanhood


Patient Description:

Those French dweebs are trash talking us. I can smell their cheese breath.
— RI

The patient boot up well with its ordinary to extraordinary scene description: “Sometimes the dust turn into stars, the furniture into planets, and the snacks into space trash.” The plot took off but was soon bogged down by inessential dialogue. Most chapters need a 25% slice with the scalpel. The themes continue to be profound in the aforementioned ordinary to extraordinary formula, but it was diluted too strongly with kiddish vulgarity. Kiddish is its genre, but there were still too many quarters in the swear jar. The piece is close to a step up in rating, but not until it loses the distractions of juvenile excess.


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Dr. 2 with patient Henry Moore is Melting by Jenny Seidelman

 
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Patient: Henry Moore is Melting

Legal Guardian: Jenny Seidelman

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: grand theft pretties, Irish black tea, the fuzz and the boss

Diagnosis: fratris lacrimis


Patient Description:

Shite. Why do the Irish have the best one liners? Them Peeves are at it again. Those Irish bohemians are just trying to dream of a better life for themselves. The legal guardian kept the patient chipper with only the best in boyish mob dialogue. You can’t do gangsters without good dialogue else you’ll be eating the butt of your cigarette in cerebral boredom. The protagonist is very romantic. His soul says “artist!” but his gun says ”gypsy.” This was an interesting introduction to Henry Moore. Overall, the patient is healthy, but grew up too quickly. I’d like to see more scenes with the brothers and bar fiancée to build better bonds with the characters, but some may call this excess. I think their comments are excess. Excess? Excess.


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Dr. 2 with patient Big Black Balloon by Eljon Wardally

 
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Patient: Big Black Balloon

Legal Guardian: Eljon Wardally

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: exercise exhaustion, energy drink overdose, speckles of narcissism 

Diagnosis: Stomachum dolor


Patient Description:

“Henry: My ears are ringing. Gerald: Those are angels cheering for you.” I could tell by first incision that the legal guardian had nourished the patient with a healthy dose of humor and vitamin A. There was a successful dialectic of Me vs. Not-Me, Me that not enough playwrights execute properly. The plot was quick witted with chortles that ally-yooped its bizarre drama. It was actually too bizarre for one reading. If you need me, I’ll be sipping an energy drink from a Tupperware bowl, trying to figure out when exactly the quiche hit the jazzercise television.


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Dr. 2 with patient Early Sunday Morning by Dara O'Brien

 
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Patient: Early Sunday Morning

Legal Guardian: Dara O'Brien

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: Picky palette, emotional easel, deceptive dimension

Diagnosis: Fele ignotum


Patient Description:

"Flowers, the favorite subjects of lady painters." The patient tells the story of two painters who endearingly poke each other with their dipsticks until they casually decide to paint the portrait of holy matrimony. The dialogue was thankfully tasteful. Gushy, love scenes are typically the first genre I toss into the bio-hazard bin. I was interested in the burdens of female painters described in the painter milieu, but the corresponding misogyny within the main characters was a bit suspicious and unbelievable. The ending was uniquely signature, all too fitting for a play that blends the colors of theater and pictorial art.


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Dr. 2 with patient How Do You Say, Hola? by Art Por Diaz

 
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Patient: How Do You Say, Hola?

Legal Guardian: Art Por Diaz

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: Awkward abuelo, slow internet connection, language apathy

Diagnosis: Lingua Ignorantia


Patient Description:

Mr. Diaz’s reoccurring plot clay is the cultural divide between Mexico and America. I saw myself as the ignorant youth flicking vocab words through google translate in language learning apathy. Currently learning Portuguese, I always feel dutiful in my daily effort. Modern selfishness sometimes keep us from accessing the familial bonds of the past and present. 


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Dr. 2 with patient A La Roro by Art Por Diaz

 
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Patient: A La Roro

Legal Guardian: Art Por Diaz

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: political pus, Mexican-American vertigo

Diagnosis: Hypersensitive closet creature phobia


Patient Description:

This political play innocently captures the Mexican-American divide and debate. The monsters and their funny technicalities made a vivid short story. I don’t see why this can’t turn into a full one act. Why not get more monsters? Why not involve a U.N.I.C.O.R.N. representative over the phone to settle the matter of who’s going to be crawling under the bed tonight?


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Dr. 2 with patient All Good Children Go To Heaven

 
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Patient: All Good Children Go to Heaven

Legal Guardian: M.E.H. LEWIS & Barbara Lhota

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: Holy headaches, back alley blues

Diagnosis: Fatherly fervor


Patient Description:

Christians pay taxes, but still their children go to Hell if they aren't baptized promptly and exactly. Well balanced religious plays are my favorite. The legal guardians use the patient to live through the paradox of praying to a benevolent but irrationally unforgiving God. At first I would say that the symbolism was robust, but it distributed itself well over the different plot lines. The story dukes a bit between theist and atheist characters, but it doesn't cook in that pot for long. The patient received five stars because of its authenticity. It was raw. It was almost too scandalous, but the authors properly utilized their characters and tie up all story lines. This drama was sublime. Perhaps I will be seeing Stoli in my office soon.


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Dr. 2 with patient "Of Serpents and Sea Spray" by Rachel Bublitz

 
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Patient: Of Serpents and Sea Spray

Legal Guardian: Rachel Bublitz

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: Aching adventurism, imaginative escapism

Diagnosis: Reality aversion


Patient Description:

Enter the goddess Athena, stage right. The imagination of the piece was clear with pirates and Pegasus and train leaping, oh my. The young hero's youthful imagination was fresh and kept me sincerely interested within the fantasy conventions. "Mermaids, they are loving the great heroes, Petite Soeur." (Fille, Bublitz, 57). Iro fights and flights between an artistic reality and a sober one. The apache between the two was creative and cathartic and brought the work's theme above mere child's play. My only concern for this patient was the simpler language. I understand that the dialogue's circumstances contain a child protagonist, but some lines felt redundant and too babyish. Similarly, Athena sometimes resonates as amateur for her status. With an improvement of the language, I would have no problem recommending this story as a healthy, five star patient.


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Dr. 2 with patient "Juggling With Mr. Fields" by Jennifer O'Grady

 
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Patient: Juggling With Mr. Fields

Legal Guardian: Jennifer O'Grady

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: Riddled with realism.

Diagnosis: Retro Showbizickus


Patient Description:

I was an alien to the patient. I didn't know who W.C. Fields was. I thought the play's start was charming. The dialogue was healthy and seeming. Within the context, there was too much instruction. The drama was there, but I still felt like an alien to this gentleman and his struggle. I'm not sure what is or is not fictitious. I'd go to this performance if only to see the ol' boy juggle.


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Nurse 911 with patient "Vietnam Zippos" by J. Weintraub

 
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Patient: Vietnam Zippos

Legal Guardian: J. Weintraub

Insurance: Bookmarx Medical

Symptoms: Inflammation of factoids, Signature Stage Styling

Diagnosis: Narrated Nihilism


Patient Description:

Our new patient is an antsy one, flicking his zippo casing on-and-off continuously in the waiting room. He was bothering the other patients who did not have zippos. When I had finally called his name, he appeared spooked, and in a knee-jerk like motion, rushed feverishly into the wing for diagnosis. The final evaluation was mild. The fact listing -of Zippos- is hit and miss in being interesting enough to actually attract my attention because the whole "badass soldier with a lighter" notion losses its novelty after a short while and appears to drone on with bits of information to drown it. 

Also, the ending seemed confusing. I thought we were talking about the history, as well as the intricacies of Zippos? Instead, the story ends on some moral high note of "World Peace is the answer". My point is that as the reader, I felt confused trying to bridge together what was handed to me. Where was the connection between the broad breakdown of Zippos, and the story's sudden shift towards an ending of "world peace"? The patient received a two star health rating.


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Dr. 2 with patient "P.S. I Love Your Daughter" by Gary Cobin

 
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Patient: P.S. I Love Your Daughter

Legal Guardian: Gary Cobin

Insurance: PagePay Plus

Symptoms: Jenny-Was-A-Friend-Of-Mine

Diagnosis: Daddy's Girl


Patient Description:

The patient's protagonist had me interested by the first beer. The intro had a very natural dialogue, even while being chopped with surprises. The company where the characters work was decorated in interesting symbolism that played into the script. Cobin's comedic character's really hit the spot. Unfortunately, when the story reached its revelations, it really handicapped itself with conventional delivery. The writing just did not create a believable dialogue when it needed it most. The story survives until the end, but I was surprised by the shift in acceptability because as I mentioned, the intro was healthy. In addition, Paul was way too dude, especially to his daughter. I understood he was a poor father, but he's still someone's greater. Wasn't he head of the company as well? Does a Sargent behave on the same level as his cadets? The story gets its zingers and all the boys figure out what to do. P.S. Derek's an idiot .


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