Patient: Of Serpents and Sea Spray
Legal Guardian: Rachel Bublitz
Symptoms: aching adventurism, imaginative escapism
Diagnosis: reality aversion
Enter the goddess Athena, stage right. The patient's young hero has a youthful imagination that wasn't cloy or childish. They were so darling I gave them a cute sticker. However, their major dysfunction is language. I understand that the hero is a child, but many parts of the dialogue were either redundant, amateur, or babyish. Athena is a total bloke. The French sailors were rusty with cliched parlance. The patient is not a flop story-wise. Even with the inflammation of the language, the story is healthy. An Rx for language distilling is what this patient needs.