Patient: Magical Thinking
Legal Guardian: Playwright Joel Adlen
Insurance: Pagepay Plus
Symptoms: tense tarot tapping, French fussing
Diagnosis: righteous restaurant revelations
Although short, sweet, and very straightforward, our recent patient arrived with immediate signs of illness. The reader is dropped suddenly into a restaurant without much introduction. Even though much of what is going on is explained later, it doesn't cure the awkwardness felt initially. Some of the dialogue came upon me as clunky and not very believable. Vicki doesn't really sell herself as a character. Mike switches from stubborn old trucker to open-sesame minded about the "B.S" magic for his wife. It was too quick a change of heart. The Rx for the legal guardian is to focus on improving each character's personality to be more believable while working to include more context in-between major plot points.