Dr. 2's diagnosis of patient The Talented Ones by Yussef El Guindi

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Patient: The Talented Ones

Legal Guardian: Playwright Yussef El Guindi

Insurance: Paperkutz

Symptoms: immigration assimilation, lying, cheating, bewbies, dancing bewbies

Diagnosis: drug overdose

That be-all-you-can-be lingo? That’s our bible now. None of that third world modesty.
— Omar

Patient Description:

“You[‘re] two ships that [have] passed in the night [and] have sunk. The flame of love has been effectively pissed on and is out.” Wow, guy. Nurse, it’s a case of the bad-one-liners. We'll need to go to surgery. Prepare the scalpel so I can remove the fat from the monologues; it's all lecture. There's some original advice through the characters, but for the most part, it's unnecessary. There was: strange; punctuation, that needs a round—two with the (grammar guide). The tone and style of the characters were too explicit…too explicit. We'll need a denouement suppository because the ending was false: the characters' behaviors were conventionally unbelievable.  Before you bring your cart, grab a lollipop. They've got a few nip tucks and poop plugs, but the immigration subplot was interesting and authentic. The patient is healthy despite today's need for operation. Give 'em a sticker, too. Please grab me a warm, wet towel; I can't handle another semicolon without two independent clauses.

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