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Consumer voted best haunted house and spook delivery service in Chicago!

At the corner of Churchill and Damen, the ghosts of Spookonomics sell frights, blights, and scares with care. They’re just a couple of ghosts in a garage with some horror to deliver and an American dream to catch. Chicago is an icon for the ghost industry. Modern mortals from all over the world come to get terrified at either a main street haunted house or a spook a la mode sent fresh to their doorstep. Like bumps in the night? Spookonomics has you covered. What was that noise at two in the morning? The best ghosts in town, that’s who.

In recent years, the ghost industry has had to endure the competition of a new player in the market: spookshare. While ghosts offer deliveries via phone, spookshare offers their deliveries via smartphone. Just a few swipes through the spookshare app and your horrible haunter will be home before dinner. The ghost industry will dance in the free market shuffle, but the Spookies are left with one question. Why does a smartphone app allow a business to spook without a ghost medallion? Ghosts pay hundreds of thousands for the privilege to terrify mortals. The justice is in the technicality. It’s not a ghost service; it’s spookshare. Check your smartphone.

The Spookies is a comedic, allegory play that paints the battle of rideshare vs. taxi on a new canvas. Art is economical philosophy. The simplistic symbolism within is comparable to the Orwellian Animal Farm. If piggies and horsies can convey the excitement and flaws of communism, why not ghosts and spookshare? When reading the play as a political piece, please keep the following contradictions in mind to understand the weight of the taximan’s rebuttal. 

1. Ghost Medallion/Pink Moustache

 
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In order to spook mortals in Chicago, the business owner of a fleet must have a ghost medallion for each of his haunters in service. The ghost medallion is a right to operate. The city of Chicago releases only so many medallions to the public to regulate the flow of active spookers in the market. This cap creates a stock and trade value for the medallion that has seen rates as high as three hundred thousand dollars in the past ten years. Recent rates have been as low as twenty thousand dollars per medallion. Spookshare services are exempt from this blue-chip requirement by reason of a smartphone dispatch. Represented by the iconic pink moustache, the spookshare industry begins at the customer’s preference for spooks delivered via smartphone dispatch.

2. Spooky License/Driver's License

 
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In order to be equipped to offer haunting services at a professional level, the city of Chicago regulates ghosts through month long haunt courses with varying entry fees. These classes ensure safety in scaring, the etiquette of mortal interaction, and city municipal requirements such as background checks and ectoplasm drug testing. Spookshare haunters are exempt from these courses so long as they have a valid driver’s license on file. Those applying for a spooky license must also have a valid driver’s license.

3. "Ghost Service"/"Spook Option"

 
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Please be mindful of the differences between ghost and spookshare vocabulary. Failure to observe the nuances of each category could result in legislative equality. Ghosts deliver “ghost services” via “ghost dispatch.” Spookshare distributes “spook options”via “spook transportation networks”or STNs.

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We at Spookonomics are participants in the Free the Weefee campaign. We believe that all citizens deserve equal access to the means of connection.